you're like a bully in the Christmas story
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She's the barista slut.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
