You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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