When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
