No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
