got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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