porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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