What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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