I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
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