A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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