I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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