I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
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