wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
