even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
