You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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