Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize