i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
