I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
