Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
