She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
soo... how was my night?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
