we're blogging at a bar
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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