p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
