I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Quick, to the slutcave!
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
