i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
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