What a fucking waste of an outfit
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize