I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
