I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
