5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize