You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
