Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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