you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
