Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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