Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize