You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
