bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
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I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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