either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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