Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Randomize
