I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
