I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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