I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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