Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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