The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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