just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
