I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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