It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
she told me i tasted like america
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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