You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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