I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
