Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
