Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
