Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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