Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
