So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
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