At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
