The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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