His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
third nipple confirmed
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize