my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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