If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Too much gin, very little bucket
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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