how can u be prego again
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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