Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
