Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
