I hate all girls vehemently.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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