It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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