the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
you had me at cake vodka
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You are a genius and a whore.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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